Sunday, June 30, 2013

. . . Trust

I've been asked why I do the "dot dot dot" so much in my writing ... the annoying ellipsis, which, I've been counseled, has no place in a written piece, unless you're leaving something out of a quoted sentence ("To be, or not to be ... the question").  Or, you have come to the end of a thought or idea.  Just trailing off ...
But for me, the ellipsis has always been a significant pause ... A way for the thought or idea I've just written to sink in, and be absorbed or appreciated.  It's also because, to be honest, I don't know punctuation so well.  Not as well as I should, in any case ... and back in the days before fingertip research, it was a hassle to find out the proper use of the ellipsis!  You'd actually have to go to a library, or crack open an old textbook ... or contact an old English Comp. teacher.
I'd planned, for the past twenty years or so, to reach out and contact Mrs. T ... who was lucky enough to have me in her 10th grade classrooms for English Lit. and Composition!  I always thought she'd be pleasantly surprised to receive an email from me out of the blue one day (all rife with punctuation mistakes, and ellipses), thanking her for the lessons she'd imparted and asking her, "How and when should I use these ... ?".
I never got around to sending that email though (nor typing it) ... and now it's too late.  I recently learned from a friend that Mrs. T passed away.
In Spanish, which of course is not my first language, my punctuation is also lacking.  Most often, my mistake will be to put the question mark right-side up at the beginning of an interrogative (?Como?) ... or otherwise misuse it entirely (¿Que rica!).
Señora Lulu, my high school Spanish teacher, used to lick chalk dust off her fingers (breath reeking of whiskey) ... She also kept a gun in her desk ...
One day, we were hanging out after class (moonwalking, and grinding to "Purple Rain"), and Lulu noticed that her gun was missing.  She'd kept me after class with her, ostensibly to tutor me on the proper use of ¿, and I ended up smashing a piñata.  Well this led to other things ... and soon she started licking chalk dust off my fingers!
Until she noticed that the gun was gone.  "¡Pepe!" she exclaimed (I loved it when she called me ¡Pepe! ... This was my name in her Spanish classroom).  "¿Tomaste mi arma??"
"?Que!?  No!  I didn't know you had an arma ..."
"Get out!" she hollered, pulling her sweater back down.  "¡Vete de aqui!"
"Yes, Señora!" I sputtered.  "Instantly!  Um, Señora ... ¿ha visto mis pantalones?"
I learned then, at a fairly young age, that even without pants, I do not particularly inspire trust.  That's my fate, I guess -- it's my face, perhaps -- and I can only do what I can.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What's in a Name?

If you've searched me by name, Jeff Glovsky, chances are you've wound up here.  Welcome. 

Sarah... Jacqui... Todd B... Michele M... Joe V... Mike S (you Frog Footman, you!)... 

JaneRoseNatalie... especially Natalie - who curiously has no presence online, so I wonder if she's passed away (To this day, long to bathe her face in miss-you-so-much kisses)... 

Mike C... Randy, Robert... Jason H and "Gym Homo" (next to Benny Hill, the funniest guy ever to walk the planet)... Tom G and The Mexicans ("Captain Pathetic and The Nots"!), also hilarious... Steve A and that Chris with the knee-high socks! 

Tim, Kelly, Karola and fat-diapered Tina... FaT Garter!  And Patti... Ah, Patti!  You aroused me so!  The thought of you beneath somebody not me made me moribund!  In my mind's eye, you were always smiling.  Even though your teeth looked long... They were white, and innocent as gold.

... Your 1960's teenage revolution eyes and Mod desires!  Where was I when you were then, I wonder?  We were not together...

Walrus-like, I ponder on that phone booth in the Alps - where we transformed our secret lusts, and your old husband wouldn't think of calling (Though I have still, as memento of our too short time together, Dieter's death threat on my answering machine: "Jeff, Fuck you.  Ich vill kill you!"

I listen to that message now and then, when I am real... )

Then there's Webster... Little Craig, Dick Richards... Alexish, Domingo, Tuesday and Winter... None of whom I intended to harm when my business went south, as it did in the Deep South in 2010.

I'm a failure on all counts, sliced each way!

and Defamatory
But I'm not a "criminal", "thief" or "scammer".

Accusations and associations with the name "Jeff Glovsky" in this regard are false and defamatory, woefully damaging and have crippled not only my PERSONAL name and reputation - but also any demands you may have been entitled to make of me, to right your (perceived) wrongs. 

I have not begun to be compensated for the permanent damages you have caused me; 

and your attempt to create some Htrae identity for me which, simply and honestly, does not exist, is a horror:  that it's ALLOWED to happen... that with the simple click of an "Enter" key, a lifetime of work, effort, hope, dream and promise / potential can be annihilated... and that it's ACCEPTED as Truth, because most people don't care enough at all to read beyond posted "yelps", "warnings" and (permanent) Ripoff Reports, and/or are too lazy / uninformed to develop their own viewpoints, or make any educated assessments themselves. 

I have lost,  conservatively, hundreds of names I could have (re)met and reeled off like the names above, because no one wants to know a "criminal", "thief" or "scammer"... and of course, doing business with one is out of the question. 

So if you've target-searched (or clicked AUTO-COMPLETE!), "Jeff Glovsky Scam", or "Miami", and you've wound up here - I forgive you.  You don't know me.  You're only believing what you read, and knee-jerking to only one-half of a story.  I get that.  You are also Welcome. 

You should not (continue to) be estranged or afraid.  You should take a chance.  Make an effort to know me.  Believe what you feel... and contact Jeff Glovsky.