Sunday, February 23, 2014

Heat Interlude

"(H)e that filches from me my good name ...
makes me poor." - William Shakespeare

After restless slumber the night before, you bound from your bed like a Christmas child and run off to the bank ... Anticipating, hoping to rip and tear open the gift of my "ripoff", my "scam", my "scheme".

I've written you a check.  But guess what?  It cleared.

I'm sorry!  

I didn't mean to dash your dreams.  Eliminate your expectations.  Yank the ground from underneath your threats and sweats and trepidations ... Your accusations.  Baseless noise, about having to take "a legal recourse" (of course, you "don't want to" ... Understood, sir!).

I'm sorry ...

I didn't mean to end your intrigues!  At 8:32 am, at the bank ... Waiting, hoping to be apprised of "insufficient funds" to take your fun against me to the next level.  The phone call:  "advising", chiding, deriding, detailing the things you "really don't want to" do, but WILL DO (you yell), because I 'leave you no choice'.

I'm sorry?

What time will you be at the bank, Jeff?!

I don't know the hour, sir!  But your check will clear today after I get there.  OR you may simply deposit my check and you'll have no issues.  I'm sorry you've got issues now ...

My check has cleared, sir.  I'm done with you.

You Yelp-ing creep!  With your threats of "review" and unpleasant demands - because you think you can.  You've read somewhere online, you MUST:  "avoid", "beware", run / keep away ... before I "take advantage" of you, you will do unto others ... But not me.

Get out of my house, man.

Your stay is ended, your welcome worn.  I am putting you out of (y)our miseries and returning a full month's rent to you.  The check will clear.

Oh, wait, sorry.  It has cleared.

I'm done with you.  We're finished here.

"I am none of these things." - Robert Smith

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