Showing posts with label Steely Dan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steely Dan. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

And Jeff Jumps In

A Prose Bopsody
on "Sonny Rollins" in The New Yorker

Jeff Glovsky (Photos By): "L'Esprit de Jazz"
Jazz.

What do those four letters, that word, mean to you?

Say it ... like a smoke-filled horn player.  Like a bassist with a blues and mean streak ... a chord progressionist, stiff-fingered note dancer, porkpie eponymous soaring lover, man!

Spinning Afro-Cuban top ... An ah's flat, e flat, beepin' bop, a ballad ... songs that never stop ...

Say JAZZ.

That word ... means what, to you?

To some -- to most -- "jazz" just means tired.  It's become like classical music, or broccoli:  it's supposed to be good ... but I don't taste anything!

To others, Jazz plays b-ball (sort of).

To forty or so more -- this small but rabid core of devoted jazz music diggers -- it absolutely is the Word ...

Jazz -- the music, The Word -- is sacrosanct.

Django Gold found this out the hard way.  While touring his Onion-esque act in the big city, Django got into a cutting session with still-living legend, Saxxy Colossus ... you know who I mean, or would, if you knew ...

But if you're not so imbued, allow me to hip you to that purty one ... the magnificent one ... the one and ONLY one ...

Mr. ... Sonny Rollins.

(Whatever!)

Then Django proceeded to light up the page with this solo he said was played by Sonny ... except it wasn't Sonny, it was Django, dig?  And he ("Sonny"/Django) said he hated The Word ... felt he'd wasted his long life working to spread it ... and never knew what suit to wear!

Man, you shoulda heard the audience howl!  Those forty people, right?  "JUDAS!" one yelled - this cat, Howie Doodat ... hands all clenched in fists of rage, demanding support from the 39 others ... He got some.


"As a lifelong fan of jazz, and having worked as a sound engineer on the road and at most of the New York clubs, including the Blue Note (and regularly for the Mingus Big Band) … but also as a writer myself, and all around (I like to think) PHUNNY guy …

I have to say, I get it: the piece IS funny. Non-sequiturs ('I hate music. I wasted my life.') placed in an absurdist context (Sonny Rollins uttering them) … is funny. Absurdity is a foundation of satire, which of course is an element of humor … and humor is comedy.

Lighten up, people!

... (U)ntil ‘Sonny gets blue’ about it, why should we?"

Then I traded with Payton, who got all riled up and made terrible noise.  His bars had "race cards littering the table.

"Not at all what the original 'offending' piece was about."

I was disappointed to hear Payton blowing that way!  Not surprised though - it's out there, and always will be.

Anyway, the set ended for me when this cat, Howie Doodat, kept putting people down, man.  Thanking people for agreeing with him ... Otherwise, "Learn about life," he'd smirk.  "No wonder you're confused," he teased.  "'Django'" (in quotes), he kept chiding Django ... suggesting that can't be the cat's real name!

"I don't believe you," I finally said.  "You're a LIAR!"

... Took my axe, and went home.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Zero Humanity + Daily Indignity =

http://littlebritain.wikia.com/wiki/Carol_Beer
Not Ann

I spoke last week with a friend of mine in Istanbul.  Ann has been living in Turkey for the past ten years or so.  Having just become a part-time expatriate myself, I was happy to catch up with her ... but decidedly less happy that our conversation kept returning to our country, and the stresses which lead to madness in America.

Every week, there's a pent-up release of bloodshed, a new "latest shooting" which makes the news.  Seventy-four school shootings in the U.S. since Sandy Hook.

...How many???

Seventy-four school shootings in the past eighteen months.  Doing some quick math, that's about four shootings per month ... or a deadly, public shooting each week!

One can only imagine the daily horrors ... the actual "latest" killings, updated on our collective akashic record, but otherwise ignored by the breathless who show up on TV for the 'big ones':  to furrow their brows and look "concerned", and gesticulate, holler, emote with weird voices and burp about gun control (... or not.  Too often, protecting our children falls by the wayside, with "fair and balanced" demands that we protect our 18th century right to bear arms.).

Though this sorry, and particularly American, state of telejournalism -- and its attendant looks, movements, voices, inflections, cackling, guffaws, fake camaraderie and endless transparency -- is in itself, a painful horror to watch ... the real daily horror, the every day pain Americans tend to inflict on each other -- the killings; the psychological need to harm or take life in America -- is not an "event", and therefore goes largely unreported.

What causes it?

My friend Ann and I were discussing this.  Neither of us will ever know, fully understand, live and breathe like second skins, our adopted cultures and imposed new languages - hers, Turkish, mine German.  The best that we'll be able to do, at this point in our mid-lives, is to try and comprehend our own ...

That is, American.

To be an American in this century, particularly, this decade, is to be slapped and assaulted and abused at each turn; to face zero humanity, suffer daily indignity ... To be stripped of privacy, financial freedom or any expectation of same.

Wait, let me explain:

From the "deposits" sucked off of your credit card balances -- to stay in a hotel room or rent a vehicle, say -- to being told you can't stay, or drive, if you don't have a "deposit".  Though your room, and your vehicle, are fully prepaid, the "deposit" may prevent you from staying or driving.  Unable to check in, then, you're out on the street!  Or unable to get where you're needing to go.

(And then you're insulted with semantics:

"It's only an 'authorization'.  You are not being charged, sir."

Oh.  That's OK then.  I don't have access to the $250 that you're "authorizing" in addition to payment -- I can't use it or buy anything with it, since it's being "held" -- and although it's been "authorized" from me immediately (not by me, mind you, but from me), it will take up to seven business days (!??) until it's returned to my credit or debit card and I'm able to spend it again.

Because you haven't CHARGED the amount, of course, thank God!  You're only "authorizing" it, correct?

I understand.  I'll just wait a week.)

... to being told, "I can't help you.", when you ask if the airline really needs the $30 fee for your carry-on bag.

"Why don't you ask the CEO?" you're actually asked, snidely in response, by a monstrous dismissive who can't give a fuck.  Clearly, this creature doesn't want to be there dealing with you, any more than you do, her ... Except it's her job to deal with you.  Courteously.  Professionally.

She fails at it daily.

When you try to complain, speak to anyone, someone ... You're only met with telephone "options" (all of which, "recently changed", of course!).  No human being to hear you screaming...

No common sense arguments need apply.  Just tap-tap-tap, computer says "NO!".

It's enough to make a grown man cry.  Or ...