Monday, December 1, 2014

Why Is It So Big??

Story of my life!  I get asked all the time ...

Why is your blog so ridiculous??

I smile, wink a little ... proudly, yet truthfully, say "I don't know."  Ask if I should change my dongle.

"Your dongle's fine ... ".

I smile again.

"Dude!  What the fuck?  Stop simpering at me!"

"You tell me why it's so big!  That's why I called you here, to look ... Here, let me open things up for you ... "

"Holy shit," she says, as it smacks her eyeballs ... "That is big!  Is that as small as things get?"

"Yes," I say, sheepishly.

"It's like my parents' telephone ... "

"I know!" I say proudly.  "I was looking at it the other night, and thinking the same thing!"

"My mom's small fingers get lost all over it.  My dad can flail away though, and never misses!"

"I hear ya'!"

"Can I ... ?"

"Absolutely.  See, I've got no control over how big it looks ... "

"You should resize this manually."

"I have, believe me.  I do!  All the time.  But then it just springs back to this size again."

"Even if you snip it?"

"Snip it, crop it ... It's like a worm.  It just keeps growing back!  Nothing I do ever makes it smaller."

"I'll make it fit the way you want it."

"Thank you, Gina."

"That's why I'm here ... "

And how was your weekend?
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"Slice / Life (annoyances, episodes)" by Jeff Glovsky - cover
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